What does it mean to have a daughter?
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately & so of course, I had to put it into words.
There are several things that I want to teach our baby girl. Lots of things that terrify me of being a mom to a girl. On the day that Ivan & I found out we would be having a daughter, we drove home in silence that night. Then, of course, I started to cry (I blame the hormones). Not because I wasn’t happy. I was very happy & a little bit in shock. Mainly because all of a sudden it was VERY real to me (to us). Not just a baby. A baby girl. A little girl. A teenage girl. A woman. I know, talk about getting ahead of yourself. Lol!
What a huge responsibility it is to guide & teach a little girl (and yes, a little boy for that matter). In general, parenthood is a huge responsibility. I know this. I’ve known this. At that moment though, I realized that it is now our responsibility to care & teach this little girl who will end up growing into an adult women.
When Ivan asked why I was crying. I told him. “I’m worried. I’m worried life will be so difficult for her. Life isn’t easy for a girl.” This was my first thought as it finally settled that yes, we will be parents to a daughter. We are parents of a daughter. We have a daughter. It’s just mind blowing to me, really. (I know many of you might read this part & think, well life isn’t easy to begin with. For a boy or for a girl. I agree. In this particular case though, I’m talking about my thoughts on raising a daughter. I’m sure if I was having a son, this post would be more towards raising a son & my thoughts on that).
So, what does it mean to me, to have a daughter? Here are a few things I would like to teach Isla as she begins to grow up. I’m sure I’ll be back here in a few months/years & add to this list. (Edit: I’ve already begun adding to this list! Hasn’t even been a month yet). For now, here are just a few.
- Love God with your entire mind, heart, and soul. View him as a real person with feelings. Someone who is happy when you are happy, sad when you are sad. This is my biggest hope for you.
- Learn to love yourself first. As you grow older, learning to love yourself is very important. You will have insecurities. You may even feel that the best way to deal with these insecurities is by attempting to love another person. No. This will not work. Love yourself first. Accept yourself for who you see. Work on you.
- Attitude is everything. This attitude from people that “the world is out to get me” – not true. Change your attitude and you will see a difference.
- Care for others. Do not be selfish. Giving is better than receiving. There is nothing worse than a selfish person. You will see this, especially in the world we live in. People tend to think of themselves. No, think of others & their feelings, before your actions and your words come into play. Give to others fully. Never think, “but what can I get out of it?”
- There will be a time you may not like me very much, but I promise we will end up being best friends 🙂 This will be a difficult stage to overcome. I hope this stage is easy for the both of us. Although, it may not be at times. Remember that I love you always. Even in between our yelling matches.
- Life isn’t easy for anyone, but that’s why we have to work hard. Things aren’t just given to you. If you want something, work towards it. Create goals for yourself.
- It’s not a bad thing to be strong. Being a strong woman is wonderful and commendable.
- Yes, anything boys can do, you can do too & don’t let anyone tell you that’s not true.
- You will not be everyone’s cup of tea & that’s okay.
- Whether you are a “girly girl”, a “tomboy”, or a “book worm”, mommy & daddy will love you no matter what.
- Be brave. At times, this won’t be easy. We will never expect perfection from you, but we do want you to be brave.
- There will be individuals who will come and go from your life. Even those who you believed would stay in your life forever. You will be disappointed when you find out this is not always true. Remember though, as time & maturity progresses, you will eventually find true friends.
- There will be those, who will feel the need to put you down. Remember, the problem is them, not you. It’s their own insecurity.